If you ask me or any other woman with children out there we will tell you that being a mother is the hardest job anyone could do. A job with no benefits, break, vacation, set hours, or any kind of salary, and it is Exhausting! I am the type of person who loves kids, who consciously chose to be a mother and was always looking forward to the day when I would have a family of my own.
There are things in being a mother that no one can ever prepare you for, things that no matter how many books you might have read or classes you may attend you will just not know until you are in it. For example no one tells you that babies like all normal human beings have independent personalities, likes and dislikes, and that is from day 1. But you are hit by it the hardest with your fist child, because when that baby comes home with you it suddenly becomes very real. “I am a mother! OMA! I am a mother!” and then slowly but surly there is some anxiety and panic. And it is not because I don’t know what to do, well part of it is. But my main thought is “I am responsible for another human being, her future is in my hands. Whatever I choose to do with her will shape her personality.”
Being responsible for oneself is one thing and yes it is difficult to choose what major to pursue in college, or what internships to do because that will determine the rest of my future. But in the end it is my own future not someone else’s. The load is a heavy one, Alhamdulillah I have a supportive husband, still the main responsibility falls on me. I am the one who spends 100% of the time with them.
There are days when I just think about how my life was in college and all the things I wanted to do and then look at myself now and the person I have become and can’t help but wish that things were different. There are those moments when all the kids are crying and demanding to be fed, changed, or to read with me when I say, “I can’t do this anymore! I can’t keep up! I am just horrible at this.”
Despite all the crazy moments and the hardship involved there are those moments when something happens that make me feel that it is all worth it. Like when my daughter comes and wakes me up with a kiss, or when one of the twins cries in the middle of the night because they are hungry, then when I go to them half awake and just not liking the whole situation. Then at that moment when they see me and I see that precious little smile that just melts my heart (then it goes back to just being crazy again).
Little moments of pure love and appreciation from the kids are what I live for. They are the moments that make it all worth it. When my daughter surprises me and repeats after me Surat Al-Ikhlas and shows me that she was actually listening and not just jumping around. Those moments tell me that I am making a difference and that what I do matters.
Having children means always having some sort of natural disaster pass though your house. From hurricanes to earthquakes and tsunamis to flash floods. All of which are caused by those little tiny inhabitants. Do they mean it? Yes! Every bit of it. But to be fair it is how they learn, or at least that is what the childless experts say. According to some, you should let your kid dump all their toys, books, crayons and whatever other object there is in their room that can me dumped because that is how they develop their senses and feed their curiosity.
Well I have one thing to say to those people, let us see you clean after your kids 10+ times a day then come and tell moms to allow their kids to do that. Yes there is some truth and logic to some of their arguments, but as a mom I already do a lot of cleaning. My day consists of wiping butts, doing laundry, sweeping, doing the dishes, picking up toys and so on. These aren’t just one time events. It’s something I end up doing multiple times a day until I come to sleep, by which time the house some how manages to get dirty again and I am just too tired to care.
With multiple kids in the house the mess just gets bigger. As moms we can, for the most part, keep our kids in check and their mess under some kind of control. Until they get together with a friend, at that point all rules are just thrown out the window and in my case hurricane Yufiba happens. Don’t think for a second that as moms when we get together we just forget about our kids-on the contrary. Despite what our husbands believe, there is no such thing as a hang out among moms of toddlers. The hangout we have is more like a 2 minute duty change where one of us takes a little break (by looking after the infants, cooking or attempts to tidy up, while the other keeps an eye on the toddlers).
In my house when hurricane Yufiba hits it doesn’t just hit the kids’ room, instead it is every room in the house. For now what we can do is stay on top of them and just pray that someday they will learn that having fun doesn’t mean causing a natural disaster in the process.